My sister texted me tonight to tell me my mum’s got terminal cancer and is going to die soon. I don’t know what “soon” means. The internet says it could be days, weeks, months. I will go to Perth to see her. I don’t know when or what it will mean or if I will get there in time or anything much. I feel empty, lost, confused, weird. If I get to see her I will wish her the best. I will tell her I forgive and feel sad we didn’t have a relationship. I will thank her for bringing me into this life and for looking after me with home cooked meals and caring for my needs in the ways she best knew how. I will thank her for encouraging and supporting me to go to drama classes and being involved in the arts. I will say that I am sorry she was so oppressed and that I hope to understand the truth of my past. But I let her loose in Yeshusa’s name.

The rest of it is over to you God because I ain’t prepared for these situations. I am not sure what you want me to do or how to think, behave or act.

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